What do you see?

In the latest blog in our Happy Care Days series, Kate Ball writes from the perspective of a client and their wish to be truly ‘seen’.

What do you see when you come into my home?

When you are young you think you are invincible, you think you have all the time in the world. But time is devious. Time passes silently and unnoticed. You celebrate one birthday after another. The early ones are such fun. You can party all night long. The next few are still fun, but staying up all night just isn’t fun any more. You start longing for a cup of tea and your hot water bottle! Then later you find yourself saying “leave the partying to the young ones.” Before you realise it you are going to bed earlier and earlier. One morning you have difficulty getting out of bed. You struggle with opening the milk bottle. You can’t get your socks on, then your shoes are too tight. Then and then and then!!! Where am I? What happened? Where did I go?

These hands once played beautiful music. They moved so easily back and forth on the keyboard of my father’s piano. Look at them, all twisted and distorted!

These feet loved to dance. My husband and I used to go to the Palace Theatre every week. We danced until we couldn’t dance anymore. Look at them! They are swollen and they leak.

My legs were the envy of all my friends, now they are covered up in these horrible stockings squashing them in so tight that they are all thin, until you get to my knees then it’s all huge and ugly.

I used to have beautiful things in my home. Now I have a zimmer frame, and an ugly chair that takes up half the room and doesn’t match anything else I own.

So what did you see?

You saw the photograph of us dancing, “yes it was wonderful, we danced every week we loved to dance.”

“Yes it’s my piano, it was my dad’s many moons ago. Yes dad taught me, he was a music teacher. No, I can’t play anymore. You love my ring? Yes it was my mother’s. No, I don’t mind if you play a tune. No one has played it for a very long time. That was lovely. Yes you can play for me on your next visit if there’s time. I would like that. No, I can’t get slippers to fit. No, I haven’t heard of them. You would do that for me? Thank you. I haven’t had nice slippers for a long time. Oh must you go? Yes I look forward to seeing you too.”

You saw ME! Why did I worry? Thank you.

Some of our clients may be affected by time, but they are still the person they have always been.

Look past the obvious and you will see so much more!